Today is our Queen’s name day (Silvia) and also the first day of the Olympic Games, but I’m not really that fond of either one. The Queen has always struck me as creepily Stepfordish. I mean, is that woman even real or is she just a life-size paper cut-out? You know, like those of Star Trek characters that you can buy if you’re geeky enough to attend sci-fi conventions. But personally, I would much rather prefer to have a stand-up cardboard figure of Lt. Worf than of Drottning Silvia (drottning = queen). And name days? I’ve never been a fan of them.

Anyway, where were we? Ah yes, the Olympic Games. You don’t need me to blog about that – just turn on your TV and you’ll get your Olympic overload.

So instead I thought I’d blog today about something actually useful. Maybe not as entertaining as making fun of Queen Silvia, but much more practical – namely, going to the dentist.

This is a topic that many, normally cold and indifferent Swedes feel very passionate about. Why? Many reasons, and I’m not going to discuss them here. But in short – it takes a long time to get an appointment with a “public” dentist and private dentists are very expensive. And even then, getting an appointment can be an ordeal.

First, in order to make an appointment, you have to call. And in order to call, you have to know the appropriate telephone times (telefon tider) when a live person will pick up the phone and tell you that the doctor is fully booked until, oh about 2011.

Telefon tider are a sacred Swedish tradition. Almost every business, government office, customer service help line, health clinic and everything else you can think of has them. Basically what it means is that you can only call such a place during their designated telephone times, which for example, at our local clinic are 9:00 to 11:00 and 13:30 to 15:00, except Fridays when nobody bothers to pick up the phone anyway. During those periods, someone, in theory at least, should answer the phone, but most likely you will end up in a telephone queue, spend the remainder of the telephone time on hold, and then will be abruptly disconnected when the clock strikes 11 or 15, or whenever the phone time ends.

Fortunately, most private doctors are abandoning this custom, and if you’re lucky, you can actually find a practice where a perky assistant picks up the phone during normal business hours, answers questions, schedules appointments and does what an office assistant should. And that’s exactly what my favorite dental clinic does. For that service alone I don’t mind paying through the nose.

But first things first. In order to go to the dentist, you should know what a dentist is in Swedish, right?

  • tandläkare (def. tandläkaren, plural: tandläkare, def. plural: tandläkarna) – person som har yrke att laga tänder – person whose job is to fix teeth.

This word is actually made up of two separate words:

  • läkare = doctor

and

  • tand (def. tanden, plural: tänder, def. plural: tänderna) = tooth

So, “tandläkare” basically means a “tooth doctor”. Easy, isn’t it?
And you’ve probably also noticed that “tand” (tooth) gets an irregular plural form – tänder (teeth). Just like in English. Creepy…

There is really a bazillion other words that start with “tand” and have to do with teeth and dental care.

  • tandvärk – toothache
  • tandtråd – dental floss
  • tandvård – dentistry, dental care
  • tandkött – gums (in your mouth)
  • tandpetare – toothpick
  • tandkräm – toothpaste
  • tandfyllning – filling (in a tooth)

And so on…

To Be Continued… (oh, this is going to be fun!)