I’ve been reading the news like I always do and because this is Sweden, the news are not all that interesting. An elderly man died after swallowing his dentures. A hurricane warning issued for Norrland for this weekend. Yes, it’s blowing like crazy, branches are falling off of trees and stuff. For real. Three charged in a human trafficking case. Wait a sec! For real? I had to look up the story for you in English, and here it is.

Now, excuse me for a moment, while I’m scratching my head in disbelief. 49 people PAID money to be smuggled to Sweden. At least that’s what the story says, the actual number might be higher. Haven’t they done their homework before deciding on Sweden? Wasn’t the unusually low smuggling fee (10000 SEK) a tip-off that Sweden might not be the hottest destination for illegal immigrants?

Please don’t get me wrong, Sweden is a great country, but really, if you’re going to be smuggled somewhere and live as an illegal immigrant, do yourself a favor and conduct some basic research before making your decision. And besides, Sweden has some of the laxest laws regarding refugees and asylum seekers in all of Europe, and to pay someone to smuggle you here is simply dumb.

And once you’re smuggled here, how do you propose to go on living? What will you say when at every step you are asked for your personnummer (social security number)? Personnummer in Sweden are created using your birthday followed by four seemingly random digits. But they’re not really random at all, one of them identifies your gender (guys get an odd number, ladies – even) and up until recently, those numbers could also show where you were born or if you were an immigrant.

Those ten digits define your life in Sweden. Without them, it’s impossible to do anything, including using a public restroom. You will need your personnummer when seeing a doctor, or a dentist (even a private one!), when opening a bank account, when trying to get a loyalty supermarket card, when applying for an ID card, when getting your mobile phone registered, when signing a contract with an internet provider, in some shops you will be asked for your personnummer when returning high-price merchandise. And that doesn’t even include the intended use of personnummer, which is as a taxpayer’s ID number. Your personnummer will be the first bit of info required by your prospective employer and without that your chances of getting a job will be slim to none.
True, there’s always the black market, but you’d be surprised than even many people in that grey area of economy will ask you for your personnummer to make sure you are in the country legally. To “work black” in Sweden means working without paying your taxes, not necessarily that the worker is an illegal immigrant. In fact, most people working “black” in Sweden are Swedish citizens or legal residents.

See what I mean? I have no idea how illegal immigrants can even survive in Sweden. Their numbers are estimated at between 60 000 to 100 000 and their lives are truly miserable. Because Sweden places more restrictions on healthcare provision for illegal immigrants than almost any other country in the European Union, according to Médecins Sans Frontières, getting medical attention if you’re here illegally might be almost impossible. And though Immigration minister Tobias Billström hinted that he was open to offering subsidized public healthcare to people without proper ID papers, this measure was rejected by Sweden’s parliament last May. This month the province of Skåne took things into their own hands and is planning to offer emergency dental care for illegal immigrants, but how well that will go over, nobody really knows yet.

But, back to our quest for personnummer. Where do you get it? As an immigrant to Sweden, legal of course, you get it at the Tax Office (Skatteverket).

Once you have the number, you will find yourself in a slew of government computers. You will magically appear in the population register and find yourself assigned to a local health clinic. Unlike in the US for example, here all those government systems are interlinked and they talk to each other. And it all starts at Skatteverket. From that time on, there’s really no need to remember your name, all you need is the number. But without the number you are stuck.

Ok, so we’ve established that being an illegal immigrant in Sweden is a bad idea. A really bad idea.

And speaking of, there is even a movie on the subject. “Förortsungar” (English title “Kidz in da Hood”) tackles the issue in a light-hearted musical way, but nevertheless, it can give you an idea of the kind of hardships that illegal immigrants have to deal with in Sweden.