We’ve studied the language for years, we’ve almost mastered the grammar, we’ve stopped pronouncing half of the words in any given sentence all wrong, we’ve read every single great novel by Tolstoy and Dostoevsky, we’ve recited Pushkin’s poetry by heart out loud – what next? What else should one do when in Russia? Because a foreigner cannot – and should not! – spend every day of their visit in Russia hunched over their desk learning grammar or trying to read “Fathers and Sons” in the original. This country has so much more to offer! It is filled with amazing experiences just waiting for you to experience them! Let’s go out and explore! (Once again, this list of top ten things to do in Russia is not based on any kind of statistics – quite the opposite, I’m afraid – it was entirely made according to what I have done in Russia and liked and can thus recommend others to do.) And note that all of the verbs (well, almost all of them) used in this post is perfect! Meaning roughly you only have to do each thing ONCE. Remember the wise Russian proverb: «попытка – не пытка!» [a try is not the same as torture!].

Doesn’t this picture inspire a toast?

1. «Выпить рюмочку холодной водки, закусывая солёными огурцами и/или салом» [drink (pfv.) a glass of cold vodka, ‘biting it off’ with salted cucumbers and/or lard, pig fat; tallow]. You can buy Russian vodka in almost every country in the world, but what better place to enjoy but actually when you’re in the country that makes it? Russians don’t drink vodka «без закусок» [without (pl.) hors d'oeuvre, appetizer; snack, refreshment] and that’s why when you’re in here you should do as the Russians – and take a bite of a salted cucumber or some meat after downing a shot!

2. «Посетить православную церковь и поставить свечку перед иконой» [visit (pfv.) an Orthodox church and place (pfv.) a candle in front of an icon].

There are Orthodox churches to be found also in other countries (Greece is just one of many examples), but Russian Orthodox churches in Russia are something else entirely. There’s a very special atmosphere in Russian Orthodox churches, there’s a certain kind of stillness which creates a special feeling of being in a safe place. No matter what you’re religion is, you’re always welcome to enter an Orthodox church in Russia (but remember to cover your head if your a woman!) and there’s always the possibility to purchase a candle for a ruble or two from one of the many kind «церковнослужители» [clergymen] always present in the church. And there are plenty of icons to choose from when it comes to where you’ll place your candle! Remember to light it first, and then hold the other end of it against another candle, so that it will stick once you put it down in front of the icon.

 3. «Посетить какой-нибудь музей и наслаждаться культурой и историей русского народа» [visit (pfv.) any kind of museum and receive pleasure (impfv.) from the culture and the history of the Russian people]. Here is where you get to be truly creative. There are so many different kinds of museums in Russia that one doesn’t even know where to begin! For the art lover the museum not to be missed when in Saint Petersburg is «Эрмитаж» [The Hermitage], and when in Moscow it should be consider a sin not to pop by «Русский музей» [The Russian Museum]. But Russia has museums dedicated to other things expect for paintings, like thousands of literary museums in almost every town dedicated to some famous Russian writer or other. And not to forget all of the amazing museums on the history of Russia! But my personal favorite is «музей забытых вещей» [the museum of forgotten things], which can be find in many Russian towns. There they put up on display all sorts of old things people now have forgotten how to use. A great idea, in my opinion.

4. «Поесть мороженое, когда идёт снег» [eat (pfv.) ice-cream when it’s snowing] – a Russian classic!

5. «Сфотографироваться перед памятником Ленину» [be photographed (pfv.) in front of a Lenin statue] – also this is a Russian classic. Everybody does it, so then why shouldn’t you too? To have something to bring home and show to friends and family, and keep for your eventual grandkids to enjoy one day? Wouldn’t you like to say one day: “Here’s grandma in the great city of Petrozavodsk, and the man in cement behind her is Lenin”. The grandkids will ask: “Who is Lenin?” And you’ll have to explain: “Well, once upon a time in 1917 some stuff went down in Russia…”

6. «Подняться на военную технику» [climb (pfv.) military equipment].

This has yet to become as much of a «классика жанра» [classic of the genre] as number 4 and 5, but I think that it could very well become more and more popular as time goes by. The important thing is to be sure you can get DOWN from the tank before you decide to climb UP on it. And maybe that’s why it has yet not caught on fully with foreigners (or even Russians for that matter) – it is a bit tricky and in some cases even dangerous… Always bring a friend, and if possible, a strong man to give you hand! (Unless you in this case are the strong man, then I’m afraid you’re out of luck).

7. «Попить пиво в парке» [drink (pfv.) beer in a park]. It doesn’t matter what the season is in Russia – summer with plus 40C or winter with minus 30C – it is always good enough weather to call up a friend, buy two bottles of beer and hit the closest park to sit down on a bench and start «философствовать» [(impfv.) philosophize]. Or just to simply discuss the latest gossip at work, perhaps catch up on things going on in each other’s life or why not have a detailed discussion on current political affairs. When with a beer and in a park in Russia everything (and anything) goes.

8. «Побывать на русской дискотеке и потанцевать под музыку восьмидесятых» [visit (pfv.) a Russian discotheque and dance (pfv.) to 80’s music]. Russians dance in a very special way, something that cannot be explained with words (not English words anyhow), but this you must see with your very own eyes. By the end of the night you are most likely to find yourself dancing in just the same way – but this doesn’t necessarily have to be a bad thing. It could be great!

9. «Купить советские значки у подозрительного, но доброго дяди на рынке» [buy (pfv.) Soviet badges from a shady, but kind old man at the market]. You can buy a tiny little Soviet «значок» [badge, ensign; favor, badge of loyalty; ideograph, pictorial symbol which directly represents a concept or thing] with almost anything on it at a Russian market. They come with all sorts of things on them: Russian cities, famous Russians – from poets to politicians – different sports, different Soviet clubs and a million more things. If you have a hobby, you are most likely to find a Soviet badge dedicated to it. These badges look great when you put them on your coat or on you bag. (Do I need to tell you how many badges with Dostoevsky I have?)

10. «Сделать что-нибудь, что запрещено» [do (pfv.) something that is forbidden]. I’m not asking you to go out and commit a crime while in Russia, but what I’m suggesting you do is simply make the most of the fact that you’re in Russia – a wild country where the long arm of the law is sometimes not long enough to reach you. Don’t do anything stupid, though. I don’t know what you had in mind, but I had in mind buying all the albums of «Алла Пугачёва» [Alla Pugachyova] in MP3-format on an illegal CD… But bought quite legally in a normal music store for about 100 rubles. Now that is the kind of forbidden stuff I think you should devote yourself to while in Russia – nothing else! Only buying cheap CDs… (Not to mention movies!)

I know there are still millions of other things one could and should do when in Russia. This country is enormous – and it has so many options as to what to do here! What do you think of my Top Ten? What would you add to this list? And what would you take away? As always, let me know – leave a comment!