Posts tagged with "ссср"

«Дорогие друзья» [Dear friends], it is with great pleasure that I inform you that I am in an advanced Russian class this year. We have been reading «советские анекдоты» [Soviet jokes] in class and I want to share a few of them with you, as they are often quite funny. In the photo: a visual joke of sorts – graffiti on the Berlin Wall.

«–Цензурируется ли переписка советских граждан?
–Нет, но письма антисоветского содержания адресатам не доставлются.»

[–Is Soviet correspondence censored?
–No, but letters with anti-Soviet content are never delivered.]

«–На какие категории подразделяются советские диссиденты?
–На сидентов, досидентов, отсидентов, пересидентов, ожидантов и вновьсидентов.»

[–Into what categories are Soviet dissidents broken down?
–Those who are sitting (i.e. in jail), those who are almost done sitting, those who are just out from sitting, those who sitting longer than their sentence, those who are waiting to sit, and those who are sitting again.]

This is quite a clever joke, but I did not understand it until my professor explained it to us. It plays with the idea of Russian prefixes and the verb «сидеть», which can mean to be in jail.

«–Что такое СССР?
–Спальная, столовая, сортир, работа.»

[–What does USSR stand for?
–Bedroom, dining room, toilet, work.]

My favorite version of this joke has «Смерть Сталина спасёт Россию» [Stalin's death will save Russia] as the punch line. Also, if I’m not mistaken, «сортир» is not a polite word, so you probably should not go around using it!

«–Нужна ли в русском языке буква “М”?
–Не нужна. Мяса нет, маргарина нет, молока нет. Маленкова нет, Молотова тоже нет. Остался один Микоян и тот не русский.»

[-Do we need the letter "M" in Russian?
-No. There's no meat, margarine, or milk. There's no Malenkov, or Molotov either. Only Mikoyan remains, and he's not Russian.]

This is my favorite joke. It’s from the 1950s, so it plays on the chronic food shortages in the Soviet Union, as well as de-Stalinization. (Malenkov and Molotov were Stalin allies, as was Mikoyan. However, Mikoyan fared better under de-Stalinization because he backed Khrushchev’s efforts. Also, Mikoyan was Armenian, hence the comment on him not being Russian.)

Do you have a favorite joke in Russian? Do you want me to post more Soviet jokes later this week? Let me know in the comments!

Well, «друзья» [friends], it has happened again: I sat down to write «про грамматику» [about grammar] and instead I wrote about something completely different. I found this «фоторепортаж» [photo essay] on the website of «магазин Внешняя политика» [the magazine "Foreign Policy"] called, in English, “Russia’s Big Backyard.” I have opted to translate the title as «ближнее зарубежье» [the near abroad] since that’s basically what the English title implies. In the photo: a map from Wikipedia of what exactly «ближнее зарубежье» is.

I do not know much «авторское право» [copyright], which is why I am not putting any of the excellent photos in this post. Instead, I will provide links to appropriate photos throughout this post, so you can click on them if you want.

Since it is «двадцать лет после СССР» [twenty years since the USSR], many news websites are writing about what has happened «за двадцать лет» [for twenty years]. «В центральной Азии» [in Central Asia] there are «две религии» [two religions]: Christianity and Islam. There are still remnants of Soviet rule in «Узбекистан, Туркменистан, Таджикистан, Казахстан, и Киргизия» [Uzbekistan, Turkmenistan, Tajikistan, Kazakhstan, and Kyrgyzstan], like «этот памятник Ленину в Таджикистане» [this monument to Lenin in Tajikistan].

Unfortunately, «в сельской местности» [in rural areas], it can be difficult for people to get access to health care and social services. These countries’ political systems are not perfect, either. Most of them could be classified as «диктатуры» [dictatorships].

«Узбекистан» [Uzbekistan] has a large Russian minority, though many have left «в Россию» [for Russia].

«Казахстан» [Kazakhstan] appears to be doing the best of all the Central Asian countries. «Экономика» [The economy] has grown a lot. Unfortunately, «Нурсултан Назарбаев» [Nursultan Nazarbayev] has had power «за двадцать один год» [twenty-one years]. «Я очень хочу поехать в Казахстан» [I really want to go to Kazakhstan] just to see the world’s largest tent. «На последнем этаже – пляж!» [There is a beach on the top floor!]

I do not know much about «Киргизия» [Kyrgyzstan], except for the fact that there was a revolution there recently. Oh, and one of my friends was there recently, and she rode a horse, just like the people in this photo.

You would probably be fine with speaking just Russian in all the countries I’ve mentioned so far, with one exception: «Туркменистан» [Turkmenistan]. The first president had «культ личности» [a cult of personality] that included emphasizing native culture over the Soviet-era Russification. Luckily, there is less of a personality cult since the first president died — «его преемник» [his successor] was his personal dentist, of all people. The current president «очень любит лошадей» [really loves horses].

I’ve never been to any of these Central Asian countries. If you have, please share your experiences in the comments!

I’m planning four parts for this series. «Часть первая» [Part 1], this part, is about «центральная Азия» [Central Asia]. «Часть вторая» [Part 2] will be about «Беларусь, Украина и Россия» [Belarus, Ukraine, and Russia]. «Часть третья» [Part 3] will be about «Кавказ» [the Caucasus]. «Часть четвёртая» will be about «балтийские страны» [the Baltic countries]. I originally was going to write «прибалтика», which is what I had learned to call the Baltic countries, but a native-speaking friend told me that is an imperialist term that should be avoided. Thoughts?

The post-modern pseudo-autobiographical classic «Москва-Петушки Венедикта Ерофеева» [“Moscow-Petushki” by Venedikt Yerofeev] has been translated into English as “Moscow to the End of the Line”, “Moscow Stations” and “Moscow Circles” (all of the above are very correct titles). But it should of course be read «в подлиннике» [in the original] – as should all other «произведения русской литературы» [works of Russian literature]… but that’s another conversation. Today: «Веничка» [Venichka]!

It was only a year ago that I heard about «Москва-Петушки» for the first time. I became instantly fascinated about it because of the way other people talked about it. For example, for the longest time did I think that «Петушки» [Petushki] wasn’t a real Russian town at all, but something made up for the purpose of mystery or simply a literary invention, like Neverland or «Скотопригоньевск» (the made-up town where the novel «Братья Карамазовы» [“The Brothers Karamazov”] is set, supposedly a vague hint at the real town «Старая Русса» [Staraya Russa] from Dostoevsky’s side, but who knows? Really, who knows?). As long as I thought that «Петушки» wasn’t a real town was just as long as it took me before I read it in March 2010 – almost a year! And to think! I could’ve have read it long before that and I could’ve have enjoyed having it in my life, in my heart, pieces of it inside of my brain for whole year longer than I now will be able to… «Ну и ладно [Well all right!] At least I have read this «постмодернистская поэма» [post-modern poem] in prose now and now I can share it with all of you. I have been going around in my mind as if in circles (just like the plot in the poem itself) for almost a month now trying to figure out a way to write about it here on the blog. For it must be written about! It must be told, it must be spread, it must be shared – because why does literature exist anyway?

Yes, interesting question isn’t it: «зачем читать литературу?» [why, what for; for what reason (should one) read literature?]. I don’t know the ONE and ONLY answer to this question, but I’ll tell you my own personal reason why: «через литературу мы узнаем, кто мы» [through literature we find out who we are]. And I’ll repeat this until your ears start to ache: «в книгах других мы узнаем себя» [in the books of others we get to know ourselves]. And for the purpose of getting to know ourselves through literature there’s one literary genre that does the job better than all the others: «поэма» [poem]. I’m talking here about the long epic poem [for ‘poetry’ in Russian is «стихи» and ‘a poem as in a shorter literary work written in verse’ is called «стихотворение» in Russian]. The thing about this special genre is that it doesn’t place a work within a particular time; though sometimes in the work there might be several hints at a certain point in the history of mankind. It is also a wonderful genre for that it does not – despite often having one main «герой» [hero], whom we get the pleasure of following throughout the poem – tell of a «частная судьба» [personal fate] but focuses on «всеобщая человеческая сущность» [the universal human essence]. When we read a poem (in prose) – like for example «Мёртвые души» [Dead Souls] «Гоголя» [by Gogol] – we soon come to understand that this not is not at all what it seems to be on the surface, but that it has a much deeper meaning, that the key to understanding it lies within our human souls, in our very most human existence and that the poem – «одним словом» [in a word; in one word] (Dostoevsky loved to use this as a sign that he was seemingly soon to wrap up a subject, but then went on for another ten sentences or so about it anyway) – the poem speaks not solely TO us, but also ABOUT us and FROM us at one and the same time. If you read «Москва-Петушки» without realizing that you also you are «Веничка» [Venichka] – the narrator who is both an intellectual and an alcoholic – but even more that «Веничка» [Venichka] is you, well, then you haven’t read nor got it all!

When I was in the middle of reading this book (it is only some 130 pages long in its «самое полное издание» [fullest edition] in Russian so you can easily finish it in two days like I did) I told my best friend here in Yekat about my thoughts on it and explained at length the fact that we are all «Веничка». She’s Russian and four years younger than I am and she didn’t agree with me at first: «Но, Жоня, ведь я никогда не просыпалась в чужом подъезде с похмельем?» [But, Zhonya (short for Жозефина), I have never woken up in a strange porch with a hangover?] That’s how “Moscow-Petushki” begins, by the way, with Venichka awakening on an early morning with a hangover in a strange porch somewhere in Moscow, trying to remember what it was that he drank yesterday… And already on the first page you’ll find the classic line:

«Вы, конечно, спросите: а дальше, Веничка, а дальше – что ты пил?» [You, of course, will ask: and then, Venichka, and then – what did you drink?]

Venichka will, of course, at length tell us about everything he drank the day before – using a lot of brand names of alcohol produced in the Soviet Union and not available in the Russian Federation today – while drinking more: «необходимо похмелиться» [it is necessary to perf. drink some more alcohol to cure (or lessen) one’s hangover], as he himself expresses the situation. Venichka has recently been fired from his job as a «бригадир» [brigadier; overman] for making detailed diagrams over how much his «подчинённые» [here: people] drank before, during and after the work day. These meticulous diagrams can be found in the book – «разумеется!» [needless to say!] We follow him on his journey traveling from Moscow on the «электричка» [suburban electrical train] to the small town of «Петушки» where his beloved is waiting for him as well as his three year old son (there is, however, no apparent blood relation between his woman and his child). While on the train Venichka continues to drink and has monologues with himself on philosophy, literature and history… Beautiful monologues! He also strikes up conversations with fellow passengers and in between manages to give many recipes for different (and rather complicated) cocktails. Unfortunately, today it is impossible for us to make these cocktails; Venichka is speaking from the context of the USSR in the late 1960’s and many of the ingredients he mentions are – sadly – unavailable to us now. He does give us a couple of explanations on how to make several versions of the (still today in Russia) popular drink «первый поцелуй» [the first kiss]: equal parts «водка» [vodka] and «красное вино» [red wine]. When he’s not drinking – or after he has drunk – he expresses wonderful thoughts about the Russian people, like for example:

«Зато у моего народа – какие глаза! Они постоянно навыкате, но – никакого напряжения в них. Полное отсутствие всякого смысла – но зато какая мощь! (Какая духовная мощь!)» [But my people have such eyes! These are always protruding eyes – but there’s no tension in them! Complete absence of any kind of sense – but then again there’s such might! (Such spiritual might!)]

In the beginning of the poem you’ll be laughing. Constantly laughing. Because Venichka is funny and because Venichka is true and because somewhere in the depths of our souls we understand that even if we haven’t EXACTLY been where he is, there is always the POSSIBILITY of ending up there. And who hasn’t been misunderstood in this lifetime? Who hasn’t longed for the utopian city of Petushki, where the birds always sing and the flowers are always in bloom? Who hasn’t wanted to escape, who hasn’t had strange dreams of declaring war on Norway? (There’s a hilarious chapter where Venichka and his friends declare war on Norway from Petushki and then are very offended that Norway doesn’t take their declaration seriously). But there’s also a part where Venichka and his fellow passengers decide «рассказать о любви, как у Тургенева» [to perf. tell about love like in a novel by Turgenev], that is «о первой любви» [about the first love] to each other. For Turgenev has a famous novella called «Первая любовь» [First Love], with which of course everyone who knows Russian literature is familiar. But as always with Russians things don’t go exactly the way it was planned from the beginning. One of them – the oldest man present among them – tells the story of he how once felt pity for someone that had been given a terribly offensive nickname. But Venichka thinks this is alright for as he concludes:

«Первая любовь или последняя жалость – какая разница? Бог, умирая на кресте, заповедовал нам жалость, а зубоскальства Он нам не заповедовал» [The first love or the last pity – what’s the difference? God, while dying on the cross, commanded us to pity, but He did not command us to mock].

After a while you begin to understand that this isn’t going to end well. No matter how funny it seems and how many brilliant one-liners Venichka and the other passengers deliver – for there are too dazzling one-liners to mention even a small part of them here! The comedy starts slowly to transform into a tragedy as a sneaking sense of the fact that Venichka is never going to get to Petushki arrives in your heart and at this point you will be unable to put the poem down… In the end you will cry just as hard as you laughed in the beginning. And you will know, you will come to understand, you will comprehend that «все мы – Веничка» [we are all Venichka]. There are some books that remain with you for a long time after you’ve finished them, after you’re done with the last page, even sometimes years after you last looked at the book – when it is collecting dust somewhere on you shelf… But all you have to do to relive the book is to travel back to it in your mind – or why not pick it up and read a chapter from it randomly? «Москва-Петушки» is such a book. It is a true piece of art because it contains everything from our human culture and everything about what it means to be human. Some might argue that they don’t want to have anything in common with such a low-life drunk and intellectual loser as Venichka. One of my other Russian friends even told me that she can’t read it – though she’s tried many times – for always being too disgusted with the whole thing. Of course that is a valid opinion. And some parts are really disgusting. And Venichka swears a lot. But the truth! Oh, the truth! I must repeat it: the truth! We are only the most human when we are at our outmost weakest; when we travel deep within ourselves – knowing for sure long before that we’ll never reach Petushki, and yet we travel – to find that also we can – just like Venichka often does – hear angels speaking to us, have long discussions on philosophy and literature and wake up with a terrible hangover in a strange porch without exactly knowing how we got there or what we drank the night before… This is the main strength – it is universal and it is honest.

It was not published in the Soviet Union upon its completion by Венедикт Ерофеев [Venedikt Yerofeev]. Maybe because it was too honest; but then again – a lot of the best works of Russian literature in the 20th century was not published in the Soviet Union. But today we can enjoy it without censorship and today we can be honest with each other. And agree that in order to stand up on our two feet we must first fall… Some fall deeper than others but what we all have in common is that we all do fall – once in a while. For to be human is not to be without fault, but to have a heart capable of «сострадание» [mercy; compassion]. Maybe this is a very Russian idea. So be it! Who says we can’t all be a little bit Russian – at heart?

Only on the way back from «Международный форум Пилорама» [The International Forum Pilorama] held in the village «Кучино» [Kuchino] outside and on the territory of formerly GULAG camp, presently museum of political repressions «Пермь-36» [Perm'-36], did I see a real-life (as apart from online) advertisement for it. Inside a bus stop in «Чусовой» [Chusovoy], which is the nearest town…

It’s been over a week since the last post here on the Russian blog, something for which I am very sorry and I hope that you can forgive me for not making it all the way to a computer – or, more correctly, to a computer with internet – during the entire previous week. The first half of it was spent visiting a close friend and her family in the city of «Курган» [Kurgan] which is located in the only part of the world that bears the name of «Зауралье» [a word that could be translated as ‘behind the Urals']. I had only just barely got on the bus back to Yekaterinburg on Thursday – traveling by bus in Russia can only be recommended to the truly brave and it is not even close to as romantic as riding the train in Russia – when a friend of mine called and asked if I would want to go with him to a festival called «Пилорама» ["Pilorama"] that would take place during the weekend on the premises of the famous GULAG museum «Пермь-36» ["Perm-36"]. My friend, who is also a foreigner in Russia just like me, doesn’t speak Russian, had never visited the museum before and told me that he would not go without me. It was the second time I heard about this festival. The first time I heard about it had been only a week before; on Thursday when I was walking in the footsteps of Shalamov in «Соликамск» [Solikamsk]. There I had – surprisingly enough – managed to run into the former director of the town’s regional museum and as she had given me a tour of everything there is to see in Solikamsk, she told me about the annual event “Pilorama” at everyone’s favorite museum of political repressions. I pondered going there on my own, but decided against it as I do not own a tent and going there would involve tenting. In retrospect I’m very glad that I didn’t go there on my own, as on my own I would have taken the bus there and probably not succeeded in getting a seat on one since there were many thousands of visitors to this event. And more than a few of them came on buses that kept pouring in during both the first and the second day. I was surprised to see so many people there, since I had paid more attention to the whole GULAG themed part of this civic forum, and managed to not notice what many others – especially «молодёжь» [youth; young people] – came there for in the first place: «концерты!» [concerts!].

Here is some art painted on one of the walls inside the former camp’s territory. The prisoner is writing the word «протест» [protest] while on the back of the fly it says «статья 58 (пятьдесят восьмая):10» [Article 58:10]. This infamous article cost many millions of people their lives during Stalin’s rule. The number 10 of this article in the USSR’s «уголовный кодекс» [penal code] stood for ‘Anti-Soviet and counter-revolutionary propaganda and agitation’. Also written are the ironic phrases «истребительно-трудовые (лагеря [destructive-work (camps)] and «пятилетку за три года» [the five year plan in three years].

 

A view of the «палаточное поле» [field for tenting] as the sun sets only close to midnight this far north in the Urals… And more and more people gather to listen to the concerts of several different Russian bands playing in the open air until midnight… (This picture was not taken by me, but by Matthias Tödt. Just so you know – I’m only borrowing it because he takes better pictures than my camera does).

 

Both I and my German friend were very surprised to find that this building – which during the festival served as «гостиница» [hotel] for the VIP-guests – is currently used as a neurological clinic… Is this really the right kind of condition for a building to be used for medical purposes? Or am I just being overly sensitive again?

I fully understand if some faithful readers of this blog are thinking: «Хватит ГУЛАГа уже!» ["Enough with the GULAG already!"] right now, and I promise you that this is the last post I’ll be writing on this subject for a while (even though I personally think this is a highly important subject which deserves to be observed often and written about a lot and talked about everywhere and discussed even more than this). One of the things that surprised me most about this international forum, or civic festival – call it as you may – was how diverse in age the visitors there were. Teenagers mixed with old people and whole families with not just their kids but also their dogs were seen everywhere and it made the place look like a true scene of traditional Russian «народное гульяние» [people's outdoor party; festival; celebration], usually something that happens in this country on dates like «9 мая» [9th of May], «12 июня» [12th of June] or «день города» [‘The City's Day' - every Russian town, both tiny and huge, have their own ‘day', more often than not it falls on a date during the short but intense Russian summer]. I had never before seen it happen on a field outside a former GULAG camp located in a place that closely resembles ‘the middle of nowhere’. It was a very impressive view. What was also impressive was Pilorama’s large program – not only were there several different concerts by Russian groups, but also many movies, many discussion groups, quite a few theatrical plays shown on stage and exhibitions in the barracks. During Pilorama excursions of the camp was for free; though an excursion is not that expensive if you are unable to visit the museum during the last weekend in July. One could also buy many rare books in Russian on GULAG camps. One exhibition was about German concentration camps, another about Russian writers who spent time in the Soviet concentration camp system (yes, Shalamov was presented among them). All in all, the organization of this event could not have been better. Only one thing could’ve been improved – the weather… it rained from time to time both during the first and the second day. Due to the rain I didn’t stay for the last, third, day, but what I managed to see I was very pleased with.

Of course, I understand that many of the young people that went there did so because they wanted to spend time with their friends – camping, drinking beer and listening to free rock concerts. But that is as a matter of fact the right approach if you want to raise awereness about this kind of things among young people in Russia today. Maybe while drinking beer and listening to their favorite band these kids will take a moment or two to think about this country’s past. And maybe go on an excursion. And maybe listen to one of the political discussions. And maybe think some more. And – who knows? – maybe that’s where «гражданское чувство России» [Russia's civic feeling] begins?

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