Posts tagged with "любовь"

How About ‘Dating’ in Russian?

Posted by josefina No Comments
Dec 14 2009

Recently we had a post about the tricky linguistic side to getting married in Russian – read “How About ‘Getting Married’ in Russian?” now if you missed it before – but the problems with how to define relationships in this language doesn’t end there. As a matter of fact, the trouble with love in Russia starts already after your first «свидание» [here: date; but also: appointment, interview; rendezvous, tryst] with a cute Russian (belonging to the sex preferred by you, of course, myself I prefer «русские мужчины» [plural: Russian men], though I’ve heard plenty of good things about «русские женщины» [plural: Russian women], too). Let’s say that you and your Russian date have discovered for each other what is very rare but sometimes actually happen not only «в кино» [in the movies] but also in real life: «взаимная любовь» [mutual love]. Then what? What Russian word do you use to say ‘boyfriend’ or ‘girlfriend’? Now is where it gets tricky! Let’s say you’ve started dating a nice, kind and cute Russian girl. The two most common things you could call her in Russian – except for «дорогая» [my dear], «любимая» [my beloved] or (when you feel it is time to get down on one knee and pull out the ring that is) «любовь моя» [my love] – is «моя подруга» [my girlfriend, or just ‘my female friend'] or «моя девушка» [my girl]. However, there is always a moment of confusion if you only refer to her as «моя подруга», since that word doesn’t exclusively stand for ‘girlfriend’ but for all of your female friends in general. And one can have many «подруги» [female friends] as we all know, without necessarily having to be dating them all (not at one and the same time, at least!). Sometimes you can help clear up the confusion somewhat by always putting the possessive «моя» [my] in front of the word, but it doesn’t always save the day.

Maybe you’re thinking that the best thing you can call your Russian girlfriend after all is «моя девушка» [my girl]. Well, it is – at least as long as she is under the age of thirty. Or simply not so picky about forcing you to be man enough to call her «женщина» [a woman] and also treat her like it. I’ve never heard of any man calling their woman «моя женщина» [my woman] with the same semantic meaning that ‘my girlfriend’ carries in English. I suppose that if you’re thinking of calling her that, then it’s high time you pull yourself together and marry her so that you can finally fess up to the usage of «моя жена» [my wife]…

Now it may sound like men have the most trouble with naming their girlfriends in Russian. That’s not so. Foreign girls who happen to acquire Russian boyfriends face pretty much the same problem. After a couple of dates you can start calling your beloved «Вася» [diminutive of «Василий»: Vasily] either «мой друг» [my boyfriend, or just ‘my male friend'] or «мой молодой человек» [my young man]. The latter I have noticed during my years in Russia as being the preferred form of referring to your boyfriend among Russian girls. I’ve never heard anyone ever saying «мой мужчина» [my man], except as a joke (or when I’ve said it myself because I thought it was okay). The problem with calling your boyfriend by just the little word «друг» [(male) friend] is that usually people have «много друзьей» [many friends] and could cause confusion as to what exactly you mean when you start a sentence saying: «Мы с другом…» What on Earth do you mean? Do you mean ‘I and my boyfriend’ or ‘I and my (male) friend’? When I studied «русский как иностранный»  [Russian as a foreign language] in Russian together with other foreigners (mainly girls) one of our professors suggested we make the definition by calling a man that we were just friends with «чистый друг» [a ‘clean' friend]. That worked fine for a week or two, until the Japanese girl in my group once referred to her boyfriend as her «грязный друг» [‘dirty' friend]…

Who needs «грязный друг» [a dirty male friend, colloquially used (among certain foreigners in the Central Urals) as a way to say ‘boyfriend' in Russian without confusing anyone] when there’s «женская дружба» [female friendship] like this?

And to answer today’s post’s question in the title: there’s three ways of saying that you’re dating in Russian. You can use «ходить на свидания» [to go on dates], which is a little old-fashioned and also sounds a bit formal to me. More common these days is to describe dating by the imperfect verb «встречаться» [be found; meet, get together; go with; see; occur]. But you can also call it plainly «дружить» [be friends, pal up, keep company; neighbor]. The problem with the last verb is the same that comes with the words «подруга» [female friend] and «друг» [male friend], namely that you don’t what exactly kind of friendship a sentence like the following tries to describe:

«Аня дружит с Антоном» – [Anya is dating Anton? Anya is friends with Anton?].

It would be better if Anya were to clear up things by saying either: «Мы с Антоном встречаемся» [Anton and I are dating] or «Мы с Антоном только друзья…» [Anton and I are just friends].

And to finish this post, I’d have to say that even though it hurts to get dumped (by a Hungarian this time, not a Russian, mind you – but really it makes no difference as I couldn’t pronounce either of their last names and that’s a sure sign you’re not really supposed to marry that person if adding their last name to yours means you’ll spend the rest of your life unable to introduce yourself properly to other people), in Russian language it is much simpler to be single!

How About ‘Getting Married’ in Russian?

Posted by josefina No Comments
Nov 29 2009

There’s one thing I’ve always had trouble expressing in the Russian language. No, it’s not «мои чувства» [plural: my feelings], but something that has not so much to do with me as a matter of fact. For years now I’ve struggled with the following: how to say in Russian that two women are married? Perhaps you’re thinking to yourselves right now – “Why on Earth would you ever have to say such a thing!” As a matter of fact one of my best friends back home in Sweden is a woman married to another woman (the woman she’s married to is Russian, which sometimes makes my effort in trying to put it «в русских словах» [in Russian words] rather comical) and thus this «естественно» [naturally] comes up in conversation from time to time. But in Russian is it not so easy to express this because there is one verb used for when a man gets married and an entirely different one for when a woman gets married, even though what it all comes down to is the same for both sexes: first «свадьба» [wedding], then «брак», and – for quite a lot of people these days – «развод» [divorce].

For men the verb used is «жениться» [to get married]. Since that almost literally translates into English as ‘to get/take/acquire a wife’, then it is rather obvious that it needs to be followed by an object (the wife) «в предложном падеже» [in prepositional case]: «жениться на ком?» [to get married to whom? (lit. to get married ON whom?)]. After a man is married he becomes «женат» [married], which seems like a logical word now the he has «жена» [a wife]. For example:

«Пётр Иванович женился на Насте» – [Pyotr Ivanovich got married to Nastya (diminutive of Anastasia)].

«Ваня женат на Наташе» – [Vanya is married to Natasha].

For women not just one verb is used in Russian language, but a combination of a verb and an adverb: «выйти/выходить замуж» [to get married]. Literally this phrase translates into English as ‘to go out after (your) husband’, and thus it is no surprise that the question we must ask afterwards to turn the expression to a complete sentence is: «за кого?» [after whom?]. The perfect form of the verb «выйти замуж» is used when you’re talking about a) the future; or b) doing it only once. If you’ve done it more than once, then the verb form you’re looking for is imperfect: «выходить замуж». Once a woman is married in Russia she becomes «замужем» [married (lit. ‘after (her) husband'], which also is very logical considering that she has «муж» [a husband] now. For example:

«Вера Васильевна вышла замуж за Пашу» – [Vera Vasil'evna got married to Pasha (diminutive of Pavel)].

«Дарья замужем за Михаилом» – [Daria is married to Mikhail]. 

In Russia it is tradition to go around town and pose for pictures in front of all sorts of «памятники» [monuments] after the wedding together with family and friends. Why not do like this happy couple and go to the picturesque little town of «Павловск» [Pavlovsk] outside Saint Petersburg to create those unforgettable shots?

And now for the tricky part – if the verbs concerning marital status in Russian is so gender specific, then how to say something like: “My friend is married to a woman”? «Моя пордуга замужем за женщину» [My friend is married (fem.) to a woman]? «Моя подруга женат на женщине» [My friend is married (masc.) to a woman]? Both of these sentences are principally wrong and equally incorrect and cause Russians only to laugh. Believe me; I’ve tried them both more than once. Also I’ve tried saying something like «моя подруга вышла замуж за женщину» [my friend got married (fem.) to a woman] and «моя подруга женилась на женщине» [my friend got married (masc.) to a woman]. In the last sentence I use the verb «жениться» so badly and grammatically erroneous that you should not under any circumstances whatsoever make a note of it!

But the thing is that even though it is not yet legal in Russia for same sex couples to get married here, Russians are far from foreign to the concept. After all, people everywhere are still people and will love each other in many different ways even though heterosexuality may be the only officially accepted form. Russian language may still lack the proper verb for it, but after all it has one verb concerning marriage that is only used when the subject is plural: the perfect form of «пожениться» [to get married]. You can’t use this perfect form with the pronoun «он» [he], it is only used with «они» [they]. And ‘they’ doesn’t necessarily have to be «он и она» [he and she], but could just as likely stand for «она и она» [she and she] or «он и он» [he and he]. That’s why I can always save the day by simply saying:

«Они поженились» – [They got married].

Or even «мои подруги поженились» [My (female) friends got married] if I feel like being a little bit more specific…

«С днём Святого Валентина!» [Happy Valentine's Day!]

Posted by josefina No Comments
Feb 14 2009

As always when politicians make the covers of doubtful gossip magazines, I was mighty intrigued to see the following «Дмитрий и Светлана Медведевы: Как они построили свою любовь» [Dmitry and Svetlana Medvedev: how they built their love] on my favorite, uh, not really, gossip magazine called: «Стархит - журнал Андрея Малахова» [Star Hit - the magazine of Andrei Malachov (whoever that is?)].

Today is February 14th and one of the most successful artificially-made holidays ever (worldwide!) – «день Святого Валентина» [St. Valentine's Day] or, as it is also called in Russia, for example – «день всех влюблённых» [the day of all people in love]. Today is as a rule date day Number One in most countries; Russia is no exception to this rule. If you have a prettier or more handsome half in Russia (or a Russian one, for that matter), you must take precautions and be careful to put your most romantic side to use today and a) give a romantic postcard, b) give heart shaped chocolate, c) give red or pink flowers, d) cook dinner (or e) take her/him out to dinner), or you, товарищ [comrade], might just find yourself alone with a bottle of cheap wine and an old videotape with “Pretty Woman” dubbed into Estonian next year. For those of us finding ourselves – gasp! – single on this fateful festival dedicated to ‘coupledom’, there are, however, quite a few options as how to survive without downing inexpensive alcohol and watching something with Julia Roberts. For example, one can always hang out with other single friends. In Russia on this day the tradition is to give everyone you love, no matter if you’re going steady with them or just friends with them, cards shaped like tiny hearts, all sorts of candy or just small gifts. Among women and young people this tradition is perhaps a little stronger than among men and member of the older generation. Thus being single in Russia doesn’t have to mean you won’t been shown a little lovin’ today anyway. One could also take the day to spend with some of the world’s greatest love stories, and enjoy seeing others finding the love of their life and through that receive a little hope in finding the same for oneself. For example, one can do as I did, and learn a lesson in love from the president of Russian Federation and his wife, Svetlana, from the article mentioned above in ‘Star Hit’.

Here’s the beginning of the article, or of the «Спецпроект: совет да любовь!» [Special project: love and advice!], in which the first couple confess the story of their 28 years of married life. «Дмитрий и Светлана Медведевы: Дружба, любовь, трудности… как у всех…» [Dmitry and Svetlana Medvedev: Friendship, love, difficulties... like everybody has...]. 

Not only does the article contain fascinating information about the president of this country and his immediate family, it is also full of just the right kind of phrases to use when speaking about love and relationships in Russian. Let’s sort them out and learn something new!

The couple met for the first time in 1972 (both born in 1965) when starting first class in school number 305 in Leningrad, back when that was still the name of Saint Petersburg. And «дочь военнослужащих Свету Линник Дмитрий Медведев полюбил с первого взгляда» [the daughter of servicemen Sveta Linnik Dmitry Medvedev fell in love with at first glance].

«полюбить с первого взгляда» – to fall in love; come to love at first glance; at a glance; from the first

«А в 7-м (седьмом) классе начали встречаться» [And in 7th grade they started dating].

«встречаться» – (here) to date

«подруга» – (here) girlfriend

«друг» – (here) boyfriend

«В 1989 году Дмитрий и Светлана поженились и поселились в квартире её родителей» [In 1989 Dmitry and Svetlana were married and moved into the apartment of her parents].

«жениться» – to get married; (for a man – for a woman it’s «выйти/выходить замуж») (the perfect «пожениться» is only used if the subject consists of two people, like in the sentence above).

«Через семь лет, в 1995 году, в семье Медведевых родился сын Илья» [Seven years later, in 1995, in the Medvedev family the son Il'ya (Russian variant of the name Elijah) was born].

«Когда в 2007-м Медведев начал свой подход к посту президента, его супруга была рядом, готовая помочь и поддержать в любую минуту» [When in 2007 Medvedev began his approach to the post of president, his spouse was near, ready to help and support at any moment].

«супруга» – spouse (female); «жена» – wife, genitive plural: «жён»

«супруг» – spouse (male); «муж» – husband, genitive plural: «мужей»

On the page above we see pictures from their wedding on December 24th 1989, a walk in «парк Победы» [the Victory park] in Moscow in 1996 (if the pictures was bigger I would’ve asked you to pay extra attention to Dima’s fluffy hair) and a tiny snapshot of the couple with their son who’s 12 years old and «поражён и немножко расстроен» [amazed and a little upset] that his dad’s the president.

 How many of you knew that Dima had been with the same woman all his life? I, for one, had heard something random and vague about it before, but most of the stuff in the article above was news to me. Of course, reading about such couples can make even the most cynic of us believe that true love can last a lifetime. And that hitting the highest layer of society doesn’t mean we must all automatically start dating models. I know in many ways Dima’s just a political puppet, and that Putin is the one really running the show, but on a day like this that’s alright. Because Dima’s has stayed true to his childhood sweetheart and to me, the incurable romantic, that’s what means the most on a day like this. Let’s celebrate not only love today, but dedication – dedication not only to that one person, but to friends and family and all our close and loved ones.

«С днём Святого Валентина!» Happy Valentine’s Day!

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