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Dear Language Enthusiast,
We invite you to the exciting new edition of our Russian newsletter. For those of you unfamiliar with our newsletter, we hope that it helps to polish your Russian skills by combining useful information and cultural insight.
Family and marriage-- two very important institutions that depend on the relationship between men and women. But how does that relationship differ in Russia? The answer may surprise you. Therefore, our newsletter will focus on the current state of male-female relations in Russia today.
The first part of the newsletter is in Russian, followed by a second version in English.
Sincerely,
Transparent Language
www.transparent.com
In English:
Russians are marrying in great numbers-- 87% of all Russian women over the age of 16 are or have been married. This seemingly high percentage may point to a great optimism in the future, a high level of romanticism, and to a wonderful relationship between men and women in Russia. Yet, to dig deeper, to see a clearer, truer reality of the state of matrimony in Russia, one needs to examine a variety of factors. And no discussion of the state of affairs between Russian men and women could be complete without knowing a crucial fact that affects this all-important relationship: Russia has a shortage of men-- only 47% of the population is male. This is actually an improvement since WWII, when most of the almost 27 million Russian casualties were male.
Ilya Bezouglyi, the editor-in-chief of the Russian edition of "Men's Health," describes the consequences of this disparity. "We're kind of spoiled here," he explains, "people in the States, they watch their mouth more. They behave themselves, political correctness, all that. Over here, you can be a total male chauvinist pig and feel perfectly fine." He added that promiscuity is not only accepted, but downright admired among men. The Russian reaction to the recent presidential sex scandal in the United States confirms his opinion, since most people either cheered Clinton's transgression with a young White House intern, or shrugged their shoulders to signify that it was a non-issue.
The division of labor for couples in Russia normally means that a woman works outside of the home, but also takes care of all of the domestic tasks like shopping, cooking, cleaning and child care. For example, in a recent interview with the feminist magazine "Ya Sama" (On My Own), a popular Russian celebrity Vladimir Ardzhevanidze, who is Europe's Tae Kwan Do champion, openly stated that, "a woman should know her place. When I come home from work, everything should be tidied up and she should be waiting for me." Not only men, but women as well feed into this stereotype: Taisiya Suvorova, the editor of a magazine devoted to male-female relationships called "He-She," characterizes the most important trait of Russian women as "the readiness to get up and guess the desire of one's husband." In the March, 1999 issue of Russian Life magazine, she proudly told Mikhail Ivanov, the interviewer, that Russian women would do anything to preserve relations with their chosen mates. This is in contrast to American women, who have no problem admitting that they are too tired to make love or who sometimes refuse to serve their husbands.
Yet, while Russian men expect their women to be enduring, hard-working, and submissive all at the same time, Russian women also have an image of the "ideal man" that they expect their man to fulfill. For example, men are expected to uphold many of the old-fashioned romantic traditions that have become less than universal in the West. They are expected to bring candy, flowers and champagne, write love poetry, open doors, and always pay for dates during the courtship period. Ilya Bezouglyi shared that some of his female acquaintances who have very high personal incomes of their own have told him that they sometimes offer to pay for themselves while on a date, but if a man were to accept such an offer, they would never see him again.
Men are also expected to be resourceful and strong at all times, and not to complain or discuss their problems with women. Ironically, even one of Russia's most famous feminist activists, Maria Arbatova, whose work is dedicated to eradicating stereotypes of women, told an interviewer at the newspaper "Komsomolskaya Pravda" that she likes real men and not crybabies. She says that as soon as a man begins to talk about how hard life is, all of her erogenous zones atrophy.
Some contend that the pressure to be simultaneously strong and caring at all times is actually causing tremendous harm to men. Interestingly, Russia is probably the only nation in the world that has a women's movement dedicated to protecting the rights of men. This movement is called "Women of Russia," and is led by Yekaterina Lakhova, who points out that the macho image imposed on Russian men leads to unendurable stress, illness, injuries, and early death.
The statistics of male mortality and illness are indisputable, though the causes most likely reside in a variety of factors other than gender stereotypes. The life expectancy for Russian men fell from 63.8 years to 57.7 years during the early 90s. Women's life expectancy fell as well, but not as dramatically, from 74.4 to 71.2 years. According to Russian Life magazine, the 13-year male-female differential in life span is greater than in any other developed nation in the world. In addition, Russian men are eight times more likely to have infectious diseases than women, and comprise 79% of victims of industrial accident injuries. The alcoholism, suicide, and heart disease rates for Russian men are the highest in the world.
One of the possible causes of the high incidence of illness in Russia, or, even more likely, one of the symptoms of the enormous stress that both men and women of Russia experience, is the telling fact that 57% of adult Russian men and 48% of Russian women smoke. The uncertainty of the new economic and political system has a profound effect on the way people perceive the world and behave. A recent poll by the Komsomolskaya Pravda newspaper revealed that 51% of young Russians "have a positive attitude toward prostitution." The Independent Russian Institute of Social and National Problems conducted a survey that showed that 40% of Russia's young people believe it is all right to use sex to attain selfish ends. This is ironic in a society where women are traditionally expected to be extremely pure and chaste.
The turmoil in the relationship between men and women of Russia is part of the greater revolution in all of the aspects of Russian life, and one that will be a fascinating topic to follow for decades to come.