Have you ever heard the phrase, kung dong i ka mu gop da (궁둥이가 무겁다)? Let me give you a hint: it’s a phrase having to do with etiquette. Here’s  bigger hint: It literally means, the butt (or the rear) is heavy.

It’s a phrase used to describe someone who refuses to leave the host’s house. You know, the people who stay for extended periods of time at other people’s house. Basically the phrase is saying that the person’s bottom is so heavy that it prevents the person from standing up to leave.

Remember the old saying that fish and guests stink after three days? Well, the saying holds true for Koreans as well. Someone who disrespects the host or hostess by staying too long may be called someone who doesn’t have nunchi (눈치). Nunchi (눈치) is the ability to accurately gauge a sitation for what it is and to act in the appropriate manner.

Korean people tend to go all out for their guests. Whether invited or not, guests are treated to some kind of drink like water, tea, maybe some juice and perhaps some kind of cookie, cake or even a meal. Korean hosts will often encourage you to stay longer, because that’s the polite thing to say. However, you are supposed to have some nunchi (눈치) and take that as a cue to take your leave.

Since hosts use all their energy and resources to make you feel comfortable, the respectful thing to do is to leave so that they won’t be tied to you the entire day. Generally, even among small children who are friends, Korean people do not sleep over. If you find yourself eating all three meals (breakfast, lunch and dinner) at a person’s house, you’re probably overdoing it and being rude. One meal is enough. Unless of course, you want to be called 궁둥이가 무겁다 then you should stay the entire day.