The ‘Misleading Word of the Day’ for today is ‘mais’ (maize, or sweet corn) which we use to make ‘la polenta’, a savory dish with the consistency of thick porridge. This word is misleading in a rather amusing way due to the Italian pronunciation which sounds just like ‘mice’! The following is a more-or–less true story.

A retired English couple were visiting Italy for the first time. In fact it was the first time that they had ever ventured outside the safety of the sacred shores of Great Britain into the unknown wilderness of ‘Continental Europe’. ‘But what on earth will we do for food?’ they wondered. Two large suitcases were duly filled with an emergency supply of Tea Bags, Baked Beans, Tomato Ketchup, Tinned Peas, Tins of Peeled Plum Tomatoes (like we don’t have tomatoes in Italy?), Digestive Biscuits, and so on. Shortly before their departure their next door neighbor, who was of Italian descent, insisted that, as they would be spending part of their holiday in Torino, they should visit her cousin Mariella who lived in that city. A week later, ensconced in their modest hotel in Torino, and having consumed a dangerous proportion of their food rations, the English couple were contacted by Mariella who invited them, in her halting English, to have lunch with her. ‘I prepare for you a thing very tradizionale of Italy, no?’ Well how could they refuse? And so it was that with great trepidation they sat down at Mariella’s table on which were placed large plates full of ‘Polenta con Ragu’ alla Bolognese’ (Polenta with a meat sauce). But what on earth was this latest ‘European atrocity’ with which they had been presented?

‘This looks very interesting’, said the Englishman, carefully enunciating his words and speaking with the slightly raised voice that the British use when dealing with imbeciles and foreigners,  ‘what is it?’

‘is mice’ (mais) replied the hostess proudly.

The horrified English couple were constrained to demonstrate their true British grit in the face of adversity as they bravely chewed their way through the meal. Of course being an Italian household they were implored to have a second and a third helping!

The following year they spent their holiday in Bognor Regis, Great Britain.

Today’s ‘Misleading Word of the Day’ is attendere. In Italian, rather than meaning ‘to attend’, attendere has the following meanings:

1. ‘to wait for’, ‘to await’, e.g. ‘ho atteso l’autobus per oltre mezz’ora’ (I waited for the bus for more than half an hour), or ‘attendiamo  che arriva Anna per mangiare’ (let’s wait for Anna to arrive before we eat).

2. in it’s reflexive form attendersi means ‘to expect’, e.g. ‘non mi attendo nulla da lui’ (I don’t expect anything from him), or ‘Laura non si attendeva di sbagliare l’esame di guida’ (Laura didn’t expect to fail her driving test).

3. Rarely used in spoken Italian, ‘attendere a’ has the same meaning as the English ‘to attend to’, e.g. attendere alla casa (attend to/take care of the house), or attendere ai propri affari (attend to/take care of one’s business).

4. the noun attesa, which comes from the past participle of attendere, means ‘waiting’ as in sala d’attesa (waiting room)

N.B. You can also use the verb aspettare when you want to say ‘to wait’, and aspettarsi when you want to say ‘to expect’.

So, how do you say ‘attend’ in Italian?

1. To say ‘attend’ with the meaning of ‘to be present at a show, sporting event’ etc. as a spectator we use ‘assistere a’, e.g. ‘ieri abbiamo assistito a un bello spettacolo a teatro’ (yesterday we attended a really good show at the theatre), or ‘Domenica assistero’ a una partita di calcio’ (on Sunday I will attend a football match).

2. To say ‘attend’ as in ‘attend a meeting’ as a participant we use partecipare, e.g. ‘Martedi’ devo partecipare a una riunione di lavoro’ (on Tuesday I have to attend a work meeting).

3. To say ‘attend’ as in ‘to attend a school, college etc.’ we use frequentare, e.g. ‘Edoardo frequenta la scuola elementare’ (Edoardo attends/goes to primary school).

…….and yes assistere can be another ‘misleading word’ but, contrary to that which I have seen asserted on some ‘Learn Italian’ websites, it is not a true ‘false friend’ because it can also mean ‘to assist’. Remember that if it is followed by ‘a’ as in the examples above it means ‘to attend’, whereas without the ‘a’ it means ‘to assist’, e.g. ‘mi ha assistito con i suoi consigli’ (he assisted/helped me with his advise).