The third installment of traditional Hindu weddings involve the post wedding preparations. After celebrations come to a close, there is an emotional part of the wedding that involves the bride leaving to go to the groom’s house. This is a painful ceremony for the bride and her family. There is a special term called babul (बाबुल) to indicate a father’s emotional farewell for his newly wed daughter. This is also the time for the photographers to take last minute pictures of the bride with the bride’s family. It’s also a time when gifts are given to the bride to take home.
Before entering the groom’s house, the bride and groom go straight to a temple. The couple prays to Lord Raama (राम) and Siitaa (सीता) for a prosperous marriage. Lord Raama (राम) and Siitaa (सीता) are considered the ideal Indian couple told in ancient legends. Raama (राम) is considered an honest and brave man, while Siitaa (सीता) is considered a chaste and devoted wife. The bride prays that she will respect and obey the groom as her husband, and the groom prays that he will be able to provide and protect the bride to the best of his ability.
Finally, the couple goes the groom’s house. The groom’s older sister or aunt sprinkles some water mixed with salt to dispel evil spirits. Then the pot that contained the water is dashed to the ground and broken to pieces. After this is done, the couple enters the house. At the entrance to the main room, the bride puts her feet unto some red poweder mixed with milk. Then the bride kicks over a bowl filled with coins and rice. This ritual symbolizes, wealth, purity, fertility and good fortune in the new couple’s home. After this, the bride is acquainted with the members of the groom’s family.
Indian people take marriage seriously. There is a low divorce rate, especially when you compare it with the divorce rate in America. Being marriage and having a family is considered a goal that every devot Hindu should aspire to. It’s almost like there’s a social obligation to get married and have children. Marriages can be arranged, but there are also love marriages as well. Sometimes the wife will live with her husband’s family. This is an old tradition that goes way back in time. Some modern couples live alone, without their parents. Either way, Indian marriages are considered sacred, and there can be a stigma against people who get divorced.
The groom wears a special turban called sehra (सेहरा). Fixed within the center of the turban is a gem studded oranament called a kalgi (कलगी). Sometimes a turra (तुर्रा) is also fitted to the turban. Flowers are also placed on the turban as well. The turra (तुर्रा) is a tassel fitted to the turban. The siisa (
The groom is led to a small stage and a male relative of the bride leads the bride to the stage as well. A ceremony of maalaa (
In addition, there’s also the ceremony of the Kannyaa (कन्या) Daan (दान). Kannyaa (कन्या) means girl and Daan (दान) means donation. This ceremony can be translated as “giving the daughter away” by the father. The father of the bride pours sacred water, symbolizing his consent to giving his daughter to the groom. The groom recites Vedic (
Lastly, there’s the ceremony of the Satapadi (सप्तपदी) or the seven steps. The couple prays for seven things: 1) plentiful harvest 2) healthy and peaceful life 3) spiritual strength 4) happy life 5) children 6) long life 7) peace of universe. Then the couple performs the bhaavar (भाँवर) which is a ceremonical walk around a sacred fire seven times. I guess this would be equivalent to the taking of the vows in many Western marriage ceremonies. When this ceremony is completed, the couple are officially married. The priest and the bride and groom’s family serve as witnesses to the marriage.
Then there’s the tilak (तिलक) ceremony. The tilak (तिलक) ceremony is where male relatives of the bride’s family smear some red powder of the forehead of the groom. The males relatives are usually the elder members of the bride’s family, such as the father of the bride, the eldest uncle of the bride, the eldest brother of the bride, etc. Depending on the region, sometimes a gift giving ceremony is held afterwards. This may be the time the bride’s family hands out gifts to the groom’s family. By doing this, the bride’s family obtains the favor of the groom’s family. In return the groom’s family promises to take care of the bride.
In America, the brides and the bridesmaids go get pedicures or facials before the wedding. In India, the bride gets to have her hands and arms painted before the wedding. Meenhadii (