Etiquette….And Guten Appetit!!
Wherever you travel in the world, your manners as well as respect to the country you find yourself in, are important constituents a person should abide by. And this includes table manners.. Electronic communication, mass media, global travel, and international trade are making the world a smaller place and expose us to cross-cultural table manners where food may be eaten with fingers rather than utensils, and seating may be on the ground rather than at the table.
Table manners follow a certain logic, based on common sense and courtesy. But customs in the West are often not followed in the East. Smacking your lips and belching are considered signs that you appreciate the food you have just eaten in the East, but are rude in the West. ( Östliche Länder ) In Eastern countries food should always be taken in the right hand.
In some countries the ( Verhalten ) behavior at the table could show a lack of respect to the host- yet in other parts of the world, this same behavior would be acceptable. So it’s always a good thing to know a thing or two about what to expect, as well as what a host country might expect of you – Since offending is surely not a way to go and learn about a culture or country.
If you are a foreigner, American table manners take a while to get used to, particularly for Europeans, because they may appear offensive. For example, cutting all the food on a dish into bite-sized pieces and then using the right hand, armed with a fork, seems like normal behavior, yet in Germany, this would not be tolerated. Elbows on the table, using the left hand to hold the dish, chewing with an open mouth, or ( Sprechen) talking while chewing are not appreciated. It is often regarded as offensive to the host, and while some of these issues have nothing to do with bad manners it can trigger less ( Angenehm ) pleasant reactions In Germany, if you were to chew with an open mouth – even among family, you would be seeing your grandma’s spoon hitting the table and your soup would go in all directions. However, all of this should not be misinterpreted because there are many other Americans in the US who do present table manners in “European” style.
When you were invited, it usually was expected to bring a gift or a good bottle of French or Italian wine, not to be consumed at the table. You would not bring German wine, because that could suggest that the host would be serving bad wine. You always should have only your hands on the table, and not in your lap. Seriously, the host might ask and wonder what you are doing. The fork should always go in the left hand and the knife in the right hand. You only cut one piece a time, forcing the habit of using the left hand to eat. Switching is tolerated if you are handicapped. It may go to extremes as well. For example, in high-end restaurants when you order chicken, you would ask the waiter to separate the meat from the bone.
Many table manners in the world evolved out of practicality, thus also there was sometimes not the time to appreciate the table decorated with food and ornaments (Flowers etc) or the resources- and how of lack of this a certain culture habit and style can develop-
Thus if we look back in history and the making of America, the euro-Americans came here to the new land with not much, the civil war, the American independence as well as fur trade gave this country a certain type of behavior amongst people, but it depended much on class as well, in the 1700, when for instance the Icelandic volcano erupted- thousands of people died in Europe- therefore many also seeking refuge elsewhere, amongst that in America. They left behind the things the average person would take for granted. Only belongings that were up most necessary and this did not most likely include an entire set of ( Das besteck ) silverware-
So I am asking my readers this time-
What do you think made this table manner so different from Europe? Other then possibly class and society?
Do you think every person should learn to ( Essen) eat with ( Messer) knife and ( Gabel )fork? Like most doing in Europe?
Östliche Länder- Eastern countries
Verhalten- behavior-
Sprechen- Talking
Angenehm- pleasant
Das Besteck- Silverware
Messer- Knife
Gabel- Fork
And interesting video in regards to eating manners-
7 Comments
I’m not sure that belching is appreciated anywhere, but smacking your lips and making slurping noises are considered OK in japan.
To state that chewing with your mouth open, holding your dish, keeping your elbows on the table, etc. is polite in the US is incorrect.
I have seen Americans switch the fork and knife but I’ve not seen one over the age of 10 cut everything on their plate into bite-sized pieces before eating.
Poor manners may be more tolerated in the US as it is considered a graver sin to point them out.
Thank you for your comments-
A video to learn a thing or two about table manners-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fypq2qhRZnI
That’s so funny about adults cutting all their food into bite sized pieces here in the US. Then they eat all their food with a fork only – I see it all the time! I assume some of them are parents who never got out of the habit of cutting up the food for their kids
In fact often fast food places or at casual lunches you don’t even get offered a knife; it’s forks only.
Of course at Japanese restaurants you never get a knife. I still don’t know how to eat that piece of tuna or salmon with sticks or a fork only. Any tips anyone? But at least you get a spoon for that green tea ice cream
Don’t care too much about too many rules when eating. The only thing I find gross is when people belch or you see the food rolling around in the mouth. A good conversation is appreciated anytime
I have seen Americans switch the fork and knife but I’ve not seen one over the age of 10 cut everything on their plate into bite-sized pieces before eating.
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I was taught good manners throughout my childhood and adolescence. Belching and farting are considered very rude…repulsive. They should only occur in private. Chewing with your mouth open is disgusting and is an example of poor manners. Smacking the lips is the same. While all of these may be different in other cultures, these are considered quite in apropos in our home.
I don’t see the same level of etiquette training occurring in today’s cultures. We seem to be regressing to a less polite society. I appreciate and applaud the progress of women in our society, but I still open doors, even automobile doors, for women. I also hold doors for my male friends when we are together. It is simply a matter of respect, not being condescending.
I struggle with my step-son (age 24) who insists that belching is a sign of a compliment to the cook. He also smacks his lips and talks while chewing. If I had done that my father would have slapped me and dismissed me from the table without dinner. Unfortunately this would result in child abuse charges (if he were a minor) or assault charges (at his current age).
We do not need to slap children to train them. Simply explaining, AT AN EARLY AGE, what manners are and why we use them will help children develop good manners as habits.
Many of todays youth as well as many adults believe that the world owes them everything. They should be able to do what they want whenever they want. Teaching young children that there is freedom is good. Adding to that the lesson that we are part of a community and a larger society is better. Teaching them that they must contribute their part is best.
Manners are a way of respecting others as we ply our way through life. Manners improve relations with others. The absence can cause bad feelings.
I’ve been living in China for a while and I would like to point out that making noise while eating is so so SO 俗气（súqì) the only time it is okay is if you are in a crappy street-side noodle shop or taking REALLY good tea in a REALLY private place. The government has tried to BAN making noise while you eat here multiple times in the past.
You are definitely not required to eat with your right hand either, although I have never seen a left handed Chinese person in China.
It’s definitely different than the pseudo-European or American manner standards in that your food is already in bite-sized pieces when it is served. Knives are considered very impolite at the table, but spoons are often used to supplement the uselessness of chopsticks when eating things like rice.
As a note to Marita about eating asian food with chopsticks and no knife is that it is either already bite sized, or in cases such as tempura shrimp, it is perfectly acceptable to pick it up, take a bite, and CONTINUE TO HOLD THE REST OF IT before swallowing and taking another bite (repeat until it is gone). The sushi (I assume you mean the fish by itself, as it is eaten in Japan) is bite sized. the whole thing should be picked up (NOT STABBED) and eaten in one bite (i wouldn’t attempt to bite it in half if I were you)
俗气－translates to something similar to vulgar, but with an emphasis on the fact that it is old fashioned and from the countryside. Not a compliment, and NOT sexy as it is in the english language. It means you are of the laboring class (which is discriminated against). I honestly can’t think of an English word to replace it the way it is meant, or I would use it.
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