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Oyez, oyez! Now that the 2012 French Presidential elections are practically around the corner, we are likely to discover more and more French “parodies politiques“!
One of those, which have surfaced over a year ago, a quite hilarious one actually, is the parodie based on a classic song of French comedian Fernandel called “Félicie aussi“ (“Felicie too”)

One way to look at this “tongue-in-cheek” classique is that it is a French (but, quite frankly, a slightly more sophisticated) equivalent of the American “That’s what she saidsense de l’humour —Starring French President (well, at least for now) Nicolas Sarkozy :)     

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2ig4r

First,  get acquainted with the original “Félicie aussi” by Fernandel

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Félicie aussi” by Xavier Morrys
A memorable 1990 remix of Fernandel’s   

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Then there’s the “Motörhead-like” reprise (cover) played by le groupe Santiago

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xb457i

And now la parodie politique (the political parody) in question (nicely done, Pierre Lenuage!)

C’est dans un coin de Neuilly-sur-Seine que j’ai rencontré Sarkozy,

It was around Neuilly-Sur-Seine that I met Sarkozy

Il approchait de la cinquantaine, et moi j’approchais d’la mairie…

He was pushing fifty, while I was pushing the door of the municipal building…

Je trouvais vite une occasion d’engager la conversation

I quickly found an opprtunity to kick-start the conversation

Il pleuvait, enfin peut-être, la mémoire c’est souvent traître

It was raining, or maybe it was—Oh well, you know, memory can often be treacherous

Sarkozy… aussi 

Sarkozy… too

C’était une ville sans complexes, tout le monde avait une Rolex

It was a pretty laid back town, where everyone sported a Rolex

Sarkozy… aussi !

Sarkozy… too!

La pauvreté, on s’en fiche, la mairie donne tout aux riches

Poverty, nobody cares, the municipality provides everything to the wealthy

Sarkozy… aussi !

Sarkoyz… too!

Les voitures sur les parkings, elles sont toutes un peu bling-bling

The cars at the parkings, they’re all a bit bling-bling

Sarkozy… aussi !

Sarkozy… too!

Comme j’avais gagné sa confiance, Il m’emmena dîner chez Fouquet’s

Since I earned his trust, he took me to the Fouquet’s

Il me dit “je dis ce que je pense”, je lui dis “pensez-vous ce que vous faites ?”

He told me: “I say what I think”, I told him: “Do you think about what you do?”

Pendant qu’il mangeait son gratin, je lui parlais de tout et de rien

While he was tasting his gratin, I made small-talk

La France est dans la fournaise, elle a fait un gros malaise

France is in deep trouble, the nation’s totally passed out

Sarkozy… aussi !

Sarkozy… too!

Les affaires vont pas toutes seules, le déficit a une sale gueule

Big Business always needs a little push, deficit looks pretty ugly

Sarkozy… aussi !

Sarkozy… too!

Il y a des jeunes sans travail, mais c’est tous de la racaille

There’s a jobless youth out there, but hey they’re all scum

Sarkozy… aussi !

Sarkozy… too!

Heureusement par sacrifice, Dieu nous a donné son fils

Fortunately, out of sacrifice, the Lord gave us his Son

Sarkozy… aussi !

Sarkozy… too!

L’amitié devenant si belle, je suis invité à l’Elysée

As our friendship blossomed so beautifully, I was invited to the Elysee

Comme c’était le soir de noël, une fête était organisée

Since it was Christmas night, a party was thrown

Y’avait des canapés de saumon, je m’assis sur celui du salon

Tasty Salmon canapés were served, but I preferred sitting on the living room sofa

L’ambiance était plutôt cool, un sapin montrait ses boules,

The atmosphere was pretty cool, a Christmas tree was boasting off its balls

…Sarkozy… aussi

…Sarkozy… too

Un fort sentiment d’ennui pénétrait Carla Bruni

A heavy feeling of boredom deeply plunged into Carla Bruni

(…)

(…) 

Dans la soupe, y’avait une blatte, elle avait de toutes petites pattes

In the soup there was a cockroach, it had teeny tiny feet

Sarkozy… aussi 

Sarkozy… too

Des bottes attendaient tranquilles que Mitterrand les enfile

Some boots were nicely waiting for Mitterrand to whip them on

Sarkozy… aussi !

Sarkozy… too!

 La nouvelle année 2012 is here, finally!

Wouldn’t you agree that il est maintenant grand temps (it is now high time) to take some dramatic, life-changing decisions…?

If you find yourself out of ideas or inspiration to come up with some, here are a few bons conseils (good pieces of advice) to adopt new résolutions de la nouvelle année (resolutions of the new year)!

* * *

One thing you may have noticed, over the past, is that because of your travail (work), your études (studies), or any other reasons, you always ended up spending moins de temps (less time) with your famille (family.) That usually happens because we tend to take our family “for granted”, “les considérer comme acquis.” We assume that they always will be there, and we could see them anytime we’ll be free. Unfortunately, those of us who have lost their grandparents, for example, know very well that this is far from being true.

La famille, c’est très important (Family, it’s very important), other things can often wait!

* * *

If the French were able to reach the ultimate decision to go smoke-free, it’s a sure and encouraging sign that you too can quit smoking!

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Comment les Français “survivent” après l’interdiction de fumer dans les lieux publics
(How the French “survive” after smoking in public places became forbidden)
* * *
For even more ideas of résolutions de 2012 :

- En 2012,  je te demande en mariage (In 2012, I ask you to marry me.)
- En 2012, je ne ferai plus la vaisselle (In 2012, I won’t do the dishes.)
- En 2012, j’arrête … … le Poker (In 2012, I stop… …Poker.)
- En 2012, je t’offrirai plus de fleurs (In 2012, I’ll offer you more flowers.)
- En 2012, je ferai moins de shopping (In 2012, I’ll do less shopping.)
- En 2012, je n’oublierai pas ton anniversaire (In 2012, I won’t forget your birthday.)
* * *
And the BEST resolution that the FRENCH BLOG advises you to make as your own is: AMELIOREZ VOTRE FRANÇAIS (IMPROVE YOUR FRENCH)!
Some of the best ways to accomplish that are:
- Systematically watching movies while setting your lecteur DVD (DVD player) on the French soundtrack option (Most of the DVDs have either French or Spanish tracks, at the very least.)
- Do you have Skype? If you don’t, then open a new account, c’est gratuit (it’s free.) You can arrange with someone to become your partenaire de conversation (conversation partner), and agree to meet en ligne (online) once a week for a friendly chat. It would be best if your partenaire is a native French speaker, who would be interested in learning your own language (For example, if your mother tongue is Spanish, German, Arabic, Russian, Chinese, etc.)  That way, you could set half-time of the conversation en français, and the other half in your native language!
You can definitely find such partners on our Facebook page: www.facebook.com/learnfrench
- And, finally, of course, make sure you read as often as possible ZE FRENCH BLOG in 2012, and tell all your amis about it! :)

In today’s French “X-Mas song“, the popular and often provocative French star Mylène Farmer “preemptively” wishes to all a Joyeux Noël (Merry Christmas)—but in her very own special fashion, bien sûr!

Comme d’habitude (as usual), behind their seemingly “anodin” (insignificant) and quite “inoffensif (innocuous) façade, most of the songs performed by the “French Madonna” carry an underlying “code“, which fans and detractors alike have for long strived to unlock… equally en vain, so far.

Her 1995 single “l’Instant X” was loin d’être une exception (far from being an exception): What seems to be a mere Pop “Christmassy” song (in the line of George Michael’s “Last Christmas”, for example!), echoing Tino Rossi’s “Petit Papa Noël“, is in fact a little more than that, and is symbolically expressed by her in the form of une équation linéaire (a linear equation): ax + b  = 0

(Read her translated lyrics below)

Naturally, the solution to her equation, namely the value of the instant “x” she refers to in the song, is not openly divulged.
Nevertheless, it was lately suggested that this self-stylized latter-day “French Cassandra” has one character who seems to “throw” a somewhat suspicious indice (hint) towards the end of this 1995 video 

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Mylène Farmer – L’Instant X

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Un remix performed by the Paris-based self-described “anti-French Touch” DJ from Paris: One-T!

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Et encore un autre (And yet another one)!

Bloody lundi

Bloody Monday

Mais qu’est-ce qui 

What is it that

Nous englue la planète

Sticks us this planet

Et embrume ma comète

And mists my comet

C’est la loi des séries

It’s the law of series  

Le Styx, les ennuis s’amoncellent

The Styx, problems pile up

J’ai un teint de poubelle

I’ve got a trash tan

Mais, c’est l’instant X 

But, it’s the X Instant

Qu’on attend comme le messie

That wait for like the messiah

Comme l’instant magique

Like the magical instant  

C’est l’équation

It’s the equation

L’ax + b qui fait tilt

The ax+b which rings a bell

Mais pour l’heure, dis

But for now, say 

Papa Noël, quand tu descendras du ciel

Santa, when you come down from the sky

Du fun, du zoprack et des ailes

Some fun, some Zoprack [verlan for Prozac!] and wings

L’an 2000 sera spirituel

The year 2000 shall be spiritual   

C’est écrit dans “ELLE

It is written in “ELLE” magazine

Du fun pour une fin de siècle

Some fun for an end of a century

Humeur Killer 

Killer mood

C’est l’heure pour

It’s time for

Moi de prendre la pose

Me to take a break

De penser à aut’chose

To think of something else 

C’est le cycle infernal

It’s the infernal cycle

Fatal, un rien devient l’Everest

Fatal, a little thing turns into Mount Everest

Mon chat qui s’défenestre

My cat that defenestrates 

Ah, à quand l’instant X 

Ah, when is the X instant gonna come

Qu’on attend comme le messie

Which we wait for like the messiah

Comme l’instant magique

Like the magical instant

C’est l’hécatombe, vernis qui craque

It’s a bloodbath, varnish cracking 

Asphyxie, pied dans la tombe

Asphyxia, a foot in the grave

Papa Noël, quand tu descendras du ciel

Santa, when you come down from the sky

Du fun, du zoprack et des ailes

Some fun, Zoprack, and wings

L’an 2000 sera spirituel 

The Year 2000 shall be spiritual

C’est écrit dans “ELLE”

It is written in “ELLE”

Du fun pour une fin de siècle

Some fun for an end of the century

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Madame X Soundtrack (1967) – “Final Hour and End Title

 

Mylène Farmer = The new "Madame X-Mas"

Portrait of Madame X

John Singer Sargent's famous "Portrait de Madamde X", which caused quite an uproar at the Paris Salon of 1884

 

Mylène Farmer‘s album cover for “l’Instant X” is strikingly reminiscent of the classic movie poster of “Madame X“, the earliest adaptation of which goes back to at least 1910, and itself an allusion to the widely famous and quite controversial “fin de siècle” painting of “Portrait de Madame X” (1884)
by the renown American painter John Singer Sargent, who was then living in Paris
 

The best pre-holiday tradition, au moins en France (at least in France), is les marchés de Noël: Christmas markets!

A year ago, our amie Jennie told us about her Christmas holiday experience in France, and here’s what she said:

Les marchés de Noël are found throughout France (and the rest of the world), but le plus célèbre (the most famous) is in Strasbourg, in northeastern France. Le marché de Strasbourg, comme tous les marchés, offre des saveurs régionales (local flavors), ainsi que des cadeaux (as well as gifts). L’une de ces saveurs typiques est… le vin chaud!

Le vin chaud, or mulled wine, is not actually that delicious (à mon avis) but it is super-festive. This adorable carte des petits plaisirs d’hiver (menu of little winter pleasures) showcases it in the 18th arrondissement of Paris. Check out the rest of the carte—what  are you most excited about this winter? (If you live in a hot place, you should be extra excited about these snowy ideals.)

On peut bien acheter les cadeaux de Noël aux marchés, mais il est parfois difficile de choisir un cadeau. This interactive website guides you to le cadeau idéal,” the ideal gift, for n’importe qui (anyone), based on answering questions about that person. It is my vocabulary gift to you this week :) . You might find le cadeau idéal, but I pretty much guarantee you will learn new, useful, current wordsÉcolo? Coquin? Câlin? If you know these already, you’re excused; if not, allez hop!

En parlant des cadeaux… qu’est-ce que vous voulez comme cadeau de Noël? What do you want for Christmas? I would like des vacances (a vacation), une manucure (a manicure), un nouveau sac à main (a new handbag), and a recommendation for a good French movie. Et vous?

Bonne soirée!


P.S. Regarder la diffusion en flux (streaming video) des marchés de Noël à Strasbourg!

Today, December 6th, many families around the world celebrate la Saint-Nicolas!
The kids who were sages comme une image (behaving very well) during the year will be showered with countless cadeaux (gifts), compliments of Saint Nicolas.

The naughty little garnements (brats), however, the ones who did not listen to their parents, who failed to do their devoirs (homework) and so on, those can expect a special visit by the very much dreaded “Père Fouettard, a.k.a. “The Whipping Father“, or “Knecht Ruprecht” in Germany! :)


Although it is essentially the avatars of the same personnage (character), le Père Fouettard is known under several aliases in different regions of France: In la Normandie, he is called “Père La Pouque“, and in l’Alsace ”Hans Trapp.” He is also known as Hanscroufin some parts of la Belgique (Belgium.) Further to the East, however, his alter egos enjoy a far more “sinister” reputation, such as the beast “Krampus” and whatnot!

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La Caravane du Père Fouettard (or “The Caravan of The Whipping Father“) perpetuates an age-old tradition…
Hardly imaginable in other “PC” countires!!


Some of the “objets de correction” (punishment objects) presented in the video include:

* Un martinet: A special whip that somewhat resembles a scourge

* Un rouleau à pâtisserie: A rolling pin, a tool which can prove particularly efficient with the bigger kids of the “married variety” :)

* Un ceinturon: A large belt (think WWE Wrestling Champion belts)

* Une savate: An old slipper…
For a quick demo, check the previous French Blog post “Oui, Oui, *French* Boxing—a.k.a. “La Savate”!

* La règle en fer: The steel ruler—Brings back some “fond memories” to the older generations, doesn’t it?
Its punitive “application” in schools has now become virtually unknown to the late members of the “Generation Y“!!

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Little French kids having a one-on-one interview with “Le Père Fouettard“:
As-tu été sage pendant l’année?” (“Have you behaved well during the year?”)

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